I thought the pain would fade as time went on. I thought I would be able to forget everything you and YOUR friends and family did to me.
I wanted to forget your names. Everything about you. But my brain just won’t forget, won’t let me forget. And it hurts. The flashbacks, the memories, then nightmares, the pain. My brain just won’t turn off. Won’t let me forget you and everything about you.
Conventions were my happy place for the longest time. Twilight was one of my favorite things. You ruined that. I still love conventions. I still love the idea of maybe having a convention company or working for one in the future. But, I want to do it the right way. With people I trust, people I know actually know how to work a convention. Not just random friends and family who have never worked a convention or done anything in that business.
You made me feel like a shittastic person. Like I did something wrong. Like it was my fault. And yes. Some things WERE my fault. It was my fault the talent had everything they needed. It was my fault that the headliner didn’t miss his flight. It was my fault that your event stayed on schedule even when you tried to sabotage that.
It was my fault that I trusted you. It was my fault that I went against my gut and helped you. I wish I had just kept my answer of NO when you asked for my help back in late 2018, early 2019.
But would we still be friends now if I hadn’t helped you with your event?? Maybe that was the silver lining. Maybe doing this was the thing that made me see what a toxic, narcissistic, snake of a “friend” you were this ENTIRE time.
Were you really my friend when you made me feel bad because I couldn’t afford the expensive hotels that you wanted to stay at and wanted to stay around the corner and you had to “pay” for the room aka make it part of my pay for working for you?
Were you really my friend when your other best friend insinuated that I slept with certain people for attention or bought their attention and when you either joined in on or said nothing? Honestly I don’t know which of those was worse.
Were you really my friend when you sat back and let your other best friend constantly talk about me negatively? When she made me feel like shit. When I asked you to ask her to stop. And she didn't? You didn't.
Were you really my friend when I shared your posts about things you were selling but didn’t want to buy something I would never use, yet I had purchased things for that convention (things I had already bought, mind you) or saved money for post-convention stuff.
Were you really my friend when you treated me like a pariah at your event when I was one of TWO people who knew what they were doing? When I was one of two people who were willing to go above and beyond what was asked of us?
Were you really my friend when all you said when I texted you the morning after the event that I woke up in tears that you were sorry I cried but didn’t even bother to ask WHY?
Were you really my friend when you tried to tell me how to run or start MY business? Or did you just want me to do it your way so that you could claim credit after the fact if I did well?? Or made me feel like I couldn't do it unless I had your help? Or had your other best friend throw in her two sense and she can't even run her own business properly.
Were you really my friend when you asked me to comment on posts in your event group defending a person who was honestly right to ask the questions they did?
God I could go on forever with questions if you were really my friend.
I didn’t know the answer at first. I do now. You weren’t. I feel like you were NEVER my friend. You were a user who used my kind heart and knowledge and abilities for YOUR benefit.
I’ve never wanted to walk out of a job before. And you know what? I almost did. When I woke up Sunday I felt like absolute shit. I was exhausted, and running on fumes and Mountain Dew.
I should have. My one friend and I should have left. Should have texted you “I’m done, figure it out on your own” and went to downtown Disney. But I didn’t. Because I didn’t want to be the reason everything went to hell. Because I KNEW you and your friends would blame me.
“You’re the reason it failed”. I knew those would be your words. Everyone's words. But hearing the words you and your friends DID say are almost worse than hearing that.
But also having celebrities unattended and left to fend for themselves with handlers who didn’t have a fucking clue was the one thing that made me stay.
I will do everything in my power to make sure no one else gets sucked in to your lies. That they don’t spend money at your events. That you’re unable to take advantage of anyone else like the way you did me.
So, in conclusion, I hope I NEVER see your face again, you or any of your friends or family. And I hope karma bites you in the ass, you narcissistic, toxic bitch.
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